<3

I’m writing from a hotel in Philadelphia where tonight I’m performing to a sold out crowd with The Moth Mainstage.  On the ride in from the airport yesterday, I passed down the street that I’d go down every day on my commute to work when I lived here.  Such a surreal feeling.

17992240_1273327732736005_8458202226531877636_nMassive thanks to everyone who came to the one man show in LA last week – what a gorgeous feeling to have so many faces there.  I can’t believe what a great night.  It sounds silly, but I really needed that night.  Chasing your dreams at night usually means living your nightmares during the day.  So to have that validation in such great numbers was a beautiful feeling.  Endless gratitude!

2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place is back up and running.   We’ve got new episodes every other Monday.  The most recent episode has the hilarious Janine Brito who I am now convinced is my comedy soulmate.  Upcoming live shows that I know about:
4/28 Philadelphia – Keswick Theater (The Moth Mainstage)

5/13 Los Angeles – Upright Citizens Brigade on Franklin (Musical Improv Showcase)

5/20 Vancouver – Vogue Theater (The Moth Mainstage)

5/28 Los Angeles – The Three Clubs Hollywood (The Q)

Hope to see you guys soon.

The Big Move.

It’s been a bit since my last update, and luckily that’s been because I’ve been so busy.  (Imagine how sad the update would be if it was like, “Haven’t written lately because I’ve been so sad and bored with life” or something like that.)  Writing from the disgustingly depressing JetBlue terminal at Los Angeles International Airport right now.  Also I finally understand how the South feels – THEY TOOK MY HAIR SPRAY!

The first and arguably most important update is that I have packed up all my belongings Beverly Hillbillies style and moved across the country to Los Angeles.  That was a difficult decision in and of itself – leaving behind not only everything and everyone I’ve ever known, but also the fact that included in that group are some of the kindest and most supportive people one could have in their lives.  My inability to react emotionally in the moment left everyone thinking “Well, that was easy for him,” when my 5 day trek across the country was actually filled with tears.

The first three days I holed myself up in my apartment, partially out of denial and depression, but mostly because I was terrified that I was going to most definitely get killed on the freeway the first time I drove onto it as an LA resident.  I eventually did a Tuesday afternoon test run to Target in Glendale (maybe a 5 mile drive, including a mile of freeway).  I was crawling out of my skin the entire way but felt so relieved – proud, even – when I reached my destination.  Suddenly driving for 5 miles on a slow Tuesday afternoon made me a seasoned professional.  And on the way home, with my newfound confidence as an obviously aggressive LA driver (the type your mother warned you about), I of course got into the wrong lane for a turn and the guy behind me laid on his horn for a solid 45 seconds.

cluel

But I acclimated to Los Angeles pretty quickly.  Maybe it was being in a car for a zillion hours on the way here that made me somehow at peace with the idea of being in traffic constantly.  At the end of the day, it is hard to argue with this weather out here.

nhtfestIn the meantime, The Moth has continued to be super kind to me in letting me share my story in even more places, including London (!!!), New York, and in Anaheim at the Now Hear This podcast festival.  This week I’ll be in Worcester, MA and in mid-November I’ll be performing in Kansas City, MO.
Living in Los Angeles has been nothing short of a dream so far.  What other city in the world can you go to a show on a Sunday afternoon and end up getting plucked from a crowd to be onstage saying lines with your a handful of your favorite people in comedy (See me in Andy Richter’s Home For The Holidays, this December on SeeSo, because this city is a beautiful creature.).  I’m finally used to seeing palm trees and celebrities everywhere I go.  I’m finally used to the sun shining all day, every day.  I’m finally used to the barrage of Australians on a six-month holiday.  Even on my worst, most frustrating day, when I’m missing my family or my friends or my favorite happy hour spot back home, the city smiles at me and reminds me that I’m ok.

As I said, this past weekend I performed for The Moth again as part of the Now Hear This festival.  The people involved in this festival are absolute gods in my world.  To see Scott Aukerman and Paul F Tompkins in the flesh is one thing, but to be on the same bill as them is another.  I know my status pales in comparison but it’s a hell of a start.  My all-access pass to the green room allowed me direct contact with some of my heroes.  Can I try to explain what it’s like to have Scott Aukerman shake my hand and introduce himself, then gesture for me to take a seat at the table with him and talk over a glass of wine?  I have spent the last several years idolizing this man and now he is asking me questions about me andscottmy life and my work.  Granted, he probably didn’t give a shit and wasn’t listening, but he did an amazing job of making me feel like I was worth something to him at that moment.  Before I know it, I’m looking around and all of my favorite comedians are in the room, at my table, chiming in on the conversation.  I was shocked, excited, scared, thankful, and ready to fucking explode.

And that’s kind of still how I feel every single day in LA.

 

Talk soon,

David

 

Fringes and Risks and Moths and Gays AND A LIVE EPISODE OF MY SHOW!

13439092_1005302956205152_7572390251104092723_n

Long time, no see!  Have you lost weight?  Whatever you’re doing, you look good.  Me?  I’ve been mega busy.  Where to start, where to start… Since I last touched base, I’ve been lucky enough to do huge13346712_980413048936_1729737194878028595_n Moth Mainstage sho13100792_968013038656_7867883281114781263_nws in Boston and East Lansing, MI.  Always such a treat to be on the road with some of the warmest hearts in the nation.  And I got to work with one of my favorite people in storytelling… The absolutely adorable and mega-talented Tara Clancy.  (PS – her book comes out in October but you can preorder it now.  I suggest you all do that.)

I’12998648_965878216856_8979331860957591821_nm thrilled to report that Fringe went great… I won the Audience Choice Award at the Pittsburgh Fringe Festival for my one man show, How The Queen Found His Crown.  By the time that weekend was over, I was extremely 12991015_966586183086_5676674998605037073_n-2thankful to put that show back into a cardboard box in my closet.  Talk about emotional exhaustion!  Putting myself and my life out there in that capacity was certainly rewardingbut taxing.  Huge thanks to everyone who came and saw it though – that was such a great turnout and such a supportive group of hearts.

I’ve gotten to try out some physical hosting duties which I admittedly was very nervous about, but wish I wasn’t, in 13007372_1676210589297664_8305328234598432440_nhindsight.  First, The Moth asked me to host their monthly Storyslam here in Pittsburgh in April.  While I obviously love attention, and the idea of being onstage through the entirety of the show, it was a daunting task:  Their monthly host here, Alan Olifson, has been literally the only person to ever host it, for almost 5 years.  I figured they’d revolt!  But the audience was very receptive to my sense of humor and luckily, I didn’t have to riff off of too many suicide stories that night, so I’d file that one in the “success” drawer.  

Just a few weeks I was the guest host and monologist of Arcade Comedy Theater’s “Hootenanny” show, the annual Pri13427939_981091668976_2727140253438382705_nde edition.  This is an Armando style show, so for all you non-nerds out there – basically someone
shouts out a word or phrase and I have to come up with some (hopefully entertaining) stories from my life based off of that word.  Then the improvisers (which included some of my local favorites – Missy Moreno, Jerome Fitzgerald, Kyle Longsdorf, Kristy Nolen, too much talent to name them all!) act out spur-of-the-moment scenes based off of the details of what I’ve just come up with.  They do scenes, I tell more stories, then scenes, then stories.  It was a fucking blast.  No words to describe how much fun that night was.

In mid June, I traveled to Philadelphia to perform a newly workshopped story for the Risk! podcast, which aired today.  13423890_982898752566_3238287332764788834_nI covered some deep stuff in it, but I (hopefully) managed to keep it light and funny.  Always fun to work out a new story in front of such a supportive audience.  And Kevin Allison, my absolute hero – such a gift to work with him every single time.

SPEAKING OF FUN!  If you’re in Pittsburgh, mark your calendars for July 29, at 8pm.  At Arcade Comedy Theater downtown, I am putting on a LIVE taping of an episode of my podcast, 2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place!  I won’t reveal too much, but there will be TONS of character improv work in this episode.  Nik Nemec will be back for this one, and I’ve secured the absolutely absurd Missy Moreno!  Tickets are only $10 but get them asap, as this is a small theater!  

13512171_1007196046015843_4200380357953403897_n

I have less than 10 weeks before I move to Los Angeles.  Terrified?  Yes, sir.  Yes, I am.  Ready for the next chapter?  Without a doubt.  Thanks for being here for the ride so far.

 

All my love,

David

#sotired #sobusy #solucky

12301530_10153829190574031_3348584755073550490_nI haven’t been ignoring you.  I’ve been quite busy since we last spoke.  Storytelling show The Moth has been kind enough to fly me to California to do another Moth MainStage show to another sold out crowd of beautiful, sweet people with open ears, open minds, and open hearts.  THANK YOU to everyone who was at the show in Santa Barbara.

My podcast has continued to book some of the most wonderful talents in comedy and music.  Since December, I’ve had Ed Begley Jr, Jill Jones, Bajillion Dollar Propertie$’ Tim Baltz, 30 Rock‘s Kevin Brown, Andre Hyland and so many more.  Pinching myself till it bleeds lately.

I’ve also been working on writing my one man show, How The Queen Found His Crown.  This has been a ton of work but such a labor of love.  I tell the story of my life so far, using the defense mechanism I use in life:  dealing with pain through humor.  I sing and dance my way through my parents’ divorce, coming out of the closet and quitting my job to follow the Spice Girls around on tour.  My walkabout helps me repair my bruised ego and find out what truly matters in life.

How The Queen Found His Crown will debut this Friday, April 15 at Pittsburgh’s Fringe Festival for one night only  two nights only!  The show sold out so quickly that they added another date to it, this Saturday, April 16.  Tickets are below!

Say you’ll be there…

https://pittsburgh-fringe-festival.ticketleap.com/howthequeengothiscrown-extra/dates/Apr-16-2016_at_0430PM

What the heck is next?

jan01

I absolutely fucking hate when days like January 1st make people decide that now is a better time than ever to rebrand themselves or try something new or start watching what they eat.  But I’m human.  And a little reflection never hurt anybody.  So add this to the list of trite, cliche posts that are likely filling up your Facebook feeds at the moment.  Except mine is way more interesting.  Sorry, not sorry.  Kinda sorry.

2015 has been the greatest year of my life, filled with so much growth and validation and success, that I’m a little (jokingly?) worried that I’ve already peaked.

In January, the wonderful Kevin Allison put me on his show Risk! for the first of what eventually became 3 appearances on it this year, including a live show at the PIT in New York.  I started my own show in March, 2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place, and have been lucky enough to work with some of the most gifted and successful people a comedian could ever look up to.  I took a class at Upright Citizens Brigade – a longtime goal of mine, especially getting to perform on their Chelsea stage the following week.  I’ve been the featured guest on multiple national radio shows and podcasts.  The Moth hand-picked me to start doing shows for their MainStage touring series, which I tried out here at home for 1,300 people.  That audience more than doubled in Portland, OR when I performed on The Moth’s biggest global stage to nearly 3,000 people.

Given the grown I’ve achieved over the past few years, this year really proved that all the good feeling I’ve got now really has some staying power.  It’s hard to un-learn negative thought processes, so I immediately worry, “Is that it?  Am I done?”  Cue Jerry Seinfeld’s awful Cockney accent, “Not bloody likely!”

I’ve got a handful of incredibly exciting irons in the fire for 2016, none of which I am officially allowed to talk about yet.  But what I can say, is that I don’t have any plans to go to the moon like poor Lance Bass did when he hit the big time.  I’m a simpler gay than that.  I just want to take a bath in diamonds but somehow not get cut.  Also Hanson will be performing an acoustic set in my bathroom while I take that diamond bath.  And they’re naked.

No, they’re in leather.  Anywho…

4520615688_3aa42bf43d

I think officially in 2016, I can say in a public forum that I plan on outsmarting carbon monoxide threats in my apartment (Yeah!), doing more shows, expanding the audience reach at 2 Gays, No Girls, and getting my name out there even bigger than it has been.  Starting today with an appearance on a nationally syndicated radio show called This Show Is So Gay.  Great way to close out the year.  The show has a ton of FM and internet affiliates nationwide, so please be sure to listen in.  As an very uninformed person, I can only direct you to their website, http://thisshowissogay.com.

I truly hope that every person reading this can attain the clarity and happiness I’ve achieved this year.  No matter what you’re seeking in life, be it fame or fortune or a bigger penis or a bigger vagina, here’s to you.

Name your goal, work hard, then ask for seconds.  Don’t wait for January 1st or some monumental day.  Every day you can do better than what you’ve done.  Happy New Year.

David

portland

Risk!, The Moth Mainstage, #2gaysnogirls

Still having to pinch myself over the last few months.  I’ve made it onto the Risk podcast two more times after doing a live show for them in New York.  You can download the episodes “Live From New York!” and “It’s Complicated.”  So thankful to the genius Kevin Allison for including me in these.  It’s such an honor.

Speaking of Kevin Allison, he was a recent guest on my show, “2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place” when I was in New York!  He was hilarious, and I’ve been lucky enough to snag a slew of other comedy geniuses that you’d likely know from the UCB stages of NYC and LA, plus podcasts like Comedy Bang Bang and Spontaneanation.  We’ve had episodes with author David Crabb (Bad Kid), Pam Murphy (improv4humansComedy Bang! Bang!), Colleen Smith (The Groundlings, Spontaneanation), Drew Droege (Chloe Sevigny series on Youtube), David Wain (The StateWet Hot American SummerAnother Period).  Upcoming guests include Jeff Hiller and Jordan Firstman, and many more!

This week I had the extreme pleasure of performing at The Moth Mainstage in Pittsburgh.  I told a story about quitting my job to follow the Spice Girls on their reunion tour, to a sold out crowd of over 1300 people.  What an unbelievable rush.  Apparently Girl Power is still alive and well!  I still can’t begin on how thankful I am for all the support the past few months.  If you’ve seen me perform, listened to my podcast, watched one of my videos, you are a huge force in helping me thrive.  THANK YOU!

Thanks for reading, and hope to see you all soon!

David

Live @ RISK! in NYC 6/25!

risk

Attention NYC area fans and friends!

Thursday 6/25 I am THRILLED to be doing my second RISK! live show, only this time in New York City at the Peoples Improv Theater!  RISK! is a live show and iTunes podcast hosted by comedy/storytelling god Kevin Allison of MTV’s “The State.”  The live shows and podcast run the gamut of stories that will make you pee yourself laughing, rip your heart out, get you hot and bothered, or gross you out.  Hopefully mine will do mostly the first and a little of the second.  Tickets are on sale below!  Get them now!

http://thepit-nyc.com/event/risk-15/

“2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place” is now on iTunes for FREE!

Search for my show now in the iTunes store or follow the link below.  Also still on soundcloud at soundcloud.com/buymeahotdog.  Myself and Nik Nemec travel around to different pizza shops, get a little tipsy, and enjoy a fun and funny conversation while we wait.  Improv characters, special guests, segments, music and more!  It’s a ton of fun, even if you’re not a gay.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/2-gays-no-girls-at-a-pizza-place/id981537104

Hosted by David Montgomery & Nik Nemec

Produced by David Montgomery

Theme song is “Like Us Before It’s Cool To” by The Wreckids (now available on iTunes!)

2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place: A Podcast

I have a lot going on these days!  So let me catch you guys up a little…

TODAY MY PODCAST IS UP!  It is the first official episode of “2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place.”  It’s a passion project for me because I love pizza and hate fag hags.  I get to do a lot of improv characters on the show, which is a blast for me.  I co-host it with Nik Nemec, who is a lot of fun to interact with on and off the show.  Go check out episode one, entitled “Madonna DiGiorno” at http://soundcloud.com/buymeahotdog.  And like us on facebook at http://facebook.com/2gaysnogirls.

Also I will be performing at Wordplay for a second time.  This is SUCH a fun show.  Host and producer Alan Olifsen gets a musical setlist to add to your story and a live dj plays it behind the storyteller.  How much better can storytelling get???  The show is Friday April 10 at Bricolage Theater in downtown Pittsburgh.  Get your tickets here:  https://bricolagepgh.secure.force.com/ticket/#sections_a0FE000000D4bTvMAJ

Plus I won the Moth storyslam again!  I performed at the Grandslam for the first time ever, and unfortunately got picked to go first… So I ended up scoring REALLY high, which was quite validating.  Didn’t get beat until the 7th or 8th person went up.  That was on a Thursday – then the following Tuesday I performed at the regular Moth storyslam and I won again!

Anyway kiddos, thanks for reading….. Catch you up again soon.  Have many more videos of my stories ordered that are heading your way soon!

xo

Dave