When I was younger and people in my town would casually talk to me in a racist fashion, I would tell them my dad was half black and then I’d speak about his accomplishments in civil rights and what an inspiration he was. They’d feel stupid and then I’d be like, “Just kidding, he’s a white alcoholic deadbeat who lost his job as a crooked mechanic.”
I also used to tell people I worked with in college that my mom was one of Bob Marley’s backup singers.
“Yeah, you know the part where he goes ‘We’re jommin!’ and they’re like ‘JOMMIN, JOMMIN, JOMMIN!’
“…That was mom. I listen to it and it makes me wish I knew her.”
“That’s so sweet. Wow!”
“Just kidding, my mom is a white barhound.”