It’s Been A Minute.

Hey, how are you?!  I haven’t seen you in ages.  You look great!  Have you lost weight?  Wait, is it your hair?  Something’s different about your hair.  Whatever it is, keep doing it!

blog3HAPPY NEW YEAR!  It’s been a fucking doozy, hasn’t it?  2016 killed all of our heroes but 2017 named the remaining ones as sex offenders, so here we are awaiting the fresh hell of 2018.  But maybe it’ll be better?  I hope that the new year finds you in good health and happiness.

2017 was blog2busier than ever for me.  Still touring around the US and Canada with The Moth Mainstage, going everywhere from Vancouver to St Louis to New York to LA.  So thankful to be a part of such a great show with such amazing people.  I’m still taking classes at UCB (though it’s been a while) and did a lot of improv with my team Chevy Chaise Lounge around Los Angeles, including the LA Indie Improv Festival.  Been telling tons of new stories around town as well!  Did some fun shows like Hatedate with Linda Bailey Walsh (and my interview was featured on her podcast of the same name – check it out!), Tales From Tinseltown, and even cohosted Oh Hey Guys with John Flynn at UCB.  blog5I’ve done the Risk! live show a few times this year, which is always a blast.  It’s really the show that first got me noticing that storytelling was a thing.  I’ve met and shared the stage this year with some incredibly talented people, and it humbles me.

I’m writing two Spank shows at UCB, which are their sketch/storytelling 30 minute showcases.  One is autobiographical (a reworked, shortened version of my solo show from Fringe) and the other is about a fictional country singer who died 50 years ago but wrote every song you’ve ever loved.  Will keep you updated on that.

I’ve started a ridiculous “anonymous” blog about my day job.  Because as a storyteller, when something bad happens to you, your brain tends to say “onc

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e I get over this trauma, this is going to be a great story.”  The blog is about something that people always, always ask me about, every single day:  YOU DRIVE FOR UBER??!!  YOU MUST HAVE SOME STORIES!!!!

The site is called Rideshare Storytime and I’m excited to roll out some stories for you!   You can check out this fun new project at http://www.RIDESHARESTORYTIME.com.

Guys.  I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet today, so can you give me a break and let me get my day started already?  Much love to you all.  Thanks for paying attention.

All my love.  xo

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The Big Move.

It’s been a bit since my last update, and luckily that’s been because I’ve been so busy.  (Imagine how sad the update would be if it was like, “Haven’t written lately because I’ve been so sad and bored with life” or something like that.)  Writing from the disgustingly depressing JetBlue terminal at Los Angeles International Airport right now.  Also I finally understand how the South feels – THEY TOOK MY HAIR SPRAY!

The first and arguably most important update is that I have packed up all my belongings Beverly Hillbillies style and moved across the country to Los Angeles.  That was a difficult decision in and of itself – leaving behind not only everything and everyone I’ve ever known, but also the fact that included in that group are some of the kindest and most supportive people one could have in their lives.  My inability to react emotionally in the moment left everyone thinking “Well, that was easy for him,” when my 5 day trek across the country was actually filled with tears.

The first three days I holed myself up in my apartment, partially out of denial and depression, but mostly because I was terrified that I was going to most definitely get killed on the freeway the first time I drove onto it as an LA resident.  I eventually did a Tuesday afternoon test run to Target in Glendale (maybe a 5 mile drive, including a mile of freeway).  I was crawling out of my skin the entire way but felt so relieved – proud, even – when I reached my destination.  Suddenly driving for 5 miles on a slow Tuesday afternoon made me a seasoned professional.  And on the way home, with my newfound confidence as an obviously aggressive LA driver (the type your mother warned you about), I of course got into the wrong lane for a turn and the guy behind me laid on his horn for a solid 45 seconds.

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But I acclimated to Los Angeles pretty quickly.  Maybe it was being in a car for a zillion hours on the way here that made me somehow at peace with the idea of being in traffic constantly.  At the end of the day, it is hard to argue with this weather out here.

nhtfestIn the meantime, The Moth has continued to be super kind to me in letting me share my story in even more places, including London (!!!), New York, and in Anaheim at the Now Hear This podcast festival.  This week I’ll be in Worcester, MA and in mid-November I’ll be performing in Kansas City, MO.
Living in Los Angeles has been nothing short of a dream so far.  What other city in the world can you go to a show on a Sunday afternoon and end up getting plucked from a crowd to be onstage saying lines with your a handful of your favorite people in comedy (See me in Andy Richter’s Home For The Holidays, this December on SeeSo, because this city is a beautiful creature.).  I’m finally used to seeing palm trees and celebrities everywhere I go.  I’m finally used to the sun shining all day, every day.  I’m finally used to the barrage of Australians on a six-month holiday.  Even on my worst, most frustrating day, when I’m missing my family or my friends or my favorite happy hour spot back home, the city smiles at me and reminds me that I’m ok.

As I said, this past weekend I performed for The Moth again as part of the Now Hear This festival.  The people involved in this festival are absolute gods in my world.  To see Scott Aukerman and Paul F Tompkins in the flesh is one thing, but to be on the same bill as them is another.  I know my status pales in comparison but it’s a hell of a start.  My all-access pass to the green room allowed me direct contact with some of my heroes.  Can I try to explain what it’s like to have Scott Aukerman shake my hand and introduce himself, then gesture for me to take a seat at the table with him and talk over a glass of wine?  I have spent the last several years idolizing this man and now he is asking me questions about me andscottmy life and my work.  Granted, he probably didn’t give a shit and wasn’t listening, but he did an amazing job of making me feel like I was worth something to him at that moment.  Before I know it, I’m looking around and all of my favorite comedians are in the room, at my table, chiming in on the conversation.  I was shocked, excited, scared, thankful, and ready to fucking explode.

And that’s kind of still how I feel every single day in LA.

 

Talk soon,

David

 

Fringes and Risks and Moths and Gays AND A LIVE EPISODE OF MY SHOW!

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Long time, no see!  Have you lost weight?  Whatever you’re doing, you look good.  Me?  I’ve been mega busy.  Where to start, where to start… Since I last touched base, I’ve been lucky enough to do huge13346712_980413048936_1729737194878028595_n Moth Mainstage sho13100792_968013038656_7867883281114781263_nws in Boston and East Lansing, MI.  Always such a treat to be on the road with some of the warmest hearts in the nation.  And I got to work with one of my favorite people in storytelling… The absolutely adorable and mega-talented Tara Clancy.  (PS – her book comes out in October but you can preorder it now.  I suggest you all do that.)

I’12998648_965878216856_8979331860957591821_nm thrilled to report that Fringe went great… I won the Audience Choice Award at the Pittsburgh Fringe Festival for my one man show, How The Queen Found His Crown.  By the time that weekend was over, I was extremely 12991015_966586183086_5676674998605037073_n-2thankful to put that show back into a cardboard box in my closet.  Talk about emotional exhaustion!  Putting myself and my life out there in that capacity was certainly rewardingbut taxing.  Huge thanks to everyone who came and saw it though – that was such a great turnout and such a supportive group of hearts.

I’ve gotten to try out some physical hosting duties which I admittedly was very nervous about, but wish I wasn’t, in 13007372_1676210589297664_8305328234598432440_nhindsight.  First, The Moth asked me to host their monthly Storyslam here in Pittsburgh in April.  While I obviously love attention, and the idea of being onstage through the entirety of the show, it was a daunting task:  Their monthly host here, Alan Olifson, has been literally the only person to ever host it, for almost 5 years.  I figured they’d revolt!  But the audience was very receptive to my sense of humor and luckily, I didn’t have to riff off of too many suicide stories that night, so I’d file that one in the “success” drawer.  

Just a few weeks I was the guest host and monologist of Arcade Comedy Theater’s “Hootenanny” show, the annual Pri13427939_981091668976_2727140253438382705_nde edition.  This is an Armando style show, so for all you non-nerds out there – basically someone
shouts out a word or phrase and I have to come up with some (hopefully entertaining) stories from my life based off of that word.  Then the improvisers (which included some of my local favorites – Missy Moreno, Jerome Fitzgerald, Kyle Longsdorf, Kristy Nolen, too much talent to name them all!) act out spur-of-the-moment scenes based off of the details of what I’ve just come up with.  They do scenes, I tell more stories, then scenes, then stories.  It was a fucking blast.  No words to describe how much fun that night was.

In mid June, I traveled to Philadelphia to perform a newly workshopped story for the Risk! podcast, which aired today.  13423890_982898752566_3238287332764788834_nI covered some deep stuff in it, but I (hopefully) managed to keep it light and funny.  Always fun to work out a new story in front of such a supportive audience.  And Kevin Allison, my absolute hero – such a gift to work with him every single time.

SPEAKING OF FUN!  If you’re in Pittsburgh, mark your calendars for July 29, at 8pm.  At Arcade Comedy Theater downtown, I am putting on a LIVE taping of an episode of my podcast, 2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place!  I won’t reveal too much, but there will be TONS of character improv work in this episode.  Nik Nemec will be back for this one, and I’ve secured the absolutely absurd Missy Moreno!  Tickets are only $10 but get them asap, as this is a small theater!  

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I have less than 10 weeks before I move to Los Angeles.  Terrified?  Yes, sir.  Yes, I am.  Ready for the next chapter?  Without a doubt.  Thanks for being here for the ride so far.

 

All my love,

David

#sotired #sobusy #solucky

12301530_10153829190574031_3348584755073550490_nI haven’t been ignoring you.  I’ve been quite busy since we last spoke.  Storytelling show The Moth has been kind enough to fly me to California to do another Moth MainStage show to another sold out crowd of beautiful, sweet people with open ears, open minds, and open hearts.  THANK YOU to everyone who was at the show in Santa Barbara.

My podcast has continued to book some of the most wonderful talents in comedy and music.  Since December, I’ve had Ed Begley Jr, Jill Jones, Bajillion Dollar Propertie$’ Tim Baltz, 30 Rock‘s Kevin Brown, Andre Hyland and so many more.  Pinching myself till it bleeds lately.

I’ve also been working on writing my one man show, How The Queen Found His Crown.  This has been a ton of work but such a labor of love.  I tell the story of my life so far, using the defense mechanism I use in life:  dealing with pain through humor.  I sing and dance my way through my parents’ divorce, coming out of the closet and quitting my job to follow the Spice Girls around on tour.  My walkabout helps me repair my bruised ego and find out what truly matters in life.

How The Queen Found His Crown will debut this Friday, April 15 at Pittsburgh’s Fringe Festival for one night only  two nights only!  The show sold out so quickly that they added another date to it, this Saturday, April 16.  Tickets are below!

Say you’ll be there…

https://pittsburgh-fringe-festival.ticketleap.com/howthequeengothiscrown-extra/dates/Apr-16-2016_at_0430PM

Live @ RISK! in NYC 6/25!

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Attention NYC area fans and friends!

Thursday 6/25 I am THRILLED to be doing my second RISK! live show, only this time in New York City at the Peoples Improv Theater!  RISK! is a live show and iTunes podcast hosted by comedy/storytelling god Kevin Allison of MTV’s “The State.”  The live shows and podcast run the gamut of stories that will make you pee yourself laughing, rip your heart out, get you hot and bothered, or gross you out.  Hopefully mine will do mostly the first and a little of the second.  Tickets are on sale below!  Get them now!

http://thepit-nyc.com/event/risk-15/

“2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place” is now on iTunes for FREE!

Search for my show now in the iTunes store or follow the link below.  Also still on soundcloud at soundcloud.com/buymeahotdog.  Myself and Nik Nemec travel around to different pizza shops, get a little tipsy, and enjoy a fun and funny conversation while we wait.  Improv characters, special guests, segments, music and more!  It’s a ton of fun, even if you’re not a gay.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/2-gays-no-girls-at-a-pizza-place/id981537104

Hosted by David Montgomery & Nik Nemec

Produced by David Montgomery

Theme song is “Like Us Before It’s Cool To” by The Wreckids (now available on iTunes!)