2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place: A Podcast

I have a lot going on these days!  So let me catch you guys up a little…

TODAY MY PODCAST IS UP!  It is the first official episode of “2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place.”  It’s a passion project for me because I love pizza and hate fag hags.  I get to do a lot of improv characters on the show, which is a blast for me.  I co-host it with Nik Nemec, who is a lot of fun to interact with on and off the show.  Go check out episode one, entitled “Madonna DiGiorno” at http://soundcloud.com/buymeahotdog.  And like us on facebook at http://facebook.com/2gaysnogirls.

Also I will be performing at Wordplay for a second time.  This is SUCH a fun show.  Host and producer Alan Olifsen gets a musical setlist to add to your story and a live dj plays it behind the storyteller.  How much better can storytelling get???  The show is Friday April 10 at Bricolage Theater in downtown Pittsburgh.  Get your tickets here:  https://bricolagepgh.secure.force.com/ticket/#sections_a0FE000000D4bTvMAJ

Plus I won the Moth storyslam again!  I performed at the Grandslam for the first time ever, and unfortunately got picked to go first… So I ended up scoring REALLY high, which was quite validating.  Didn’t get beat until the 7th or 8th person went up.  That was on a Thursday – then the following Tuesday I performed at the regular Moth storyslam and I won again!

Anyway kiddos, thanks for reading….. Catch you up again soon.  Have many more videos of my stories ordered that are heading your way soon!

xo

Dave

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Naivete, a gun, and the Spice Girls. My story is on this week’s episode of the RISK! podcast!

KAS

http://risk-show.com/podcast/in-a-tizzy/

Click here to listen to MY STORY on this week’s episode of Risk!, hosted and curated by the brilliant Kevin Allison.  It is such a dream of mine to be on this show and to have worked with Kevin professionally.  This guy has been a comedy hero of mine since my teenage years.  His most notable tv work was the sketch comedy show “The State” on MTV in the mid-90s.  This show is the absolute cornerstone of my sense of humor.  Kevin started Risk several years ago and when I discovered it, I was enthralled.  His uncanny ability to find such gifted storytellers and workshop their stories to be performed live or in-studio as such incredible pieces is truly an art.  They run the gamut – from inspiring to raunchy to hilarious to sad… This show truly has something for everyone, as long as you don’t mind a little coarse language 😉

I’m the first storyteller, with a story called “Spice Justice,”  in which I am mugged at gunpoint and justice isn’t served through normal channels… So the Spice Girls serve justice in a tacit, implicit way ;).  I hope you enjoy listening.  If you’re interested and are new to his show, click through older episodes and check out a “Best Of” episode to give yourself a good idea of what it’s like.  It is THE best podcast on the air today.  Subscribe in itunes here.

DON’T FORGET TO LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE HERE! 🙂  Audio, pro-shot videos and more!

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

I’ve never had good luck with neighbors.  From summer 2013 until the summer of 2014 I was invariably tortured by my downstairs neighbor, who performed a series of psychological experiments on me without my permission.  This is largely an assumption and definitely an overdramatic version of just having a bad neighbor, but here is my story anyway.  I told this hilarious story at The Moth storyslam at the Rex Theater in Pittsburgh last summer.  The names have been changed to protect the terrible.  Enjoy!  Please comment, like, and share if you enjoyed this..

Gym husband

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Here is the unedited story of the saga of me and my gym husband. I want to preface the story by saying, I am not delusional. But I would let him murder me if it he agreed to have a nice kiss right beforehand.

“British for a Night” live at the Moth Storyslam (snippet)

This is a clip of me from last night’s The Moth Storyslam show in Pittsburgh, PA.  To give you some context, I was invited to a very fancy wine tasting gala with the Pittsburgh Penguins and was nervous about coming across as a hillbilly.  So I decided to become British for the night, at the very last minute.  And it worked!  Until I was accosted by a white trash millionaire who was trying to get me to have a threesome with her husband. Full video will hopefully surface in a few weeks. 🙂

Ain’t That A Kick In The Head

I kicked an unsuspecting girl in the head at the gym this morning.

So I’m at the gym every morning very early… like 5am early.  And I always see the same freak show there.  There’s the old micro-lesbian who is looking for a new best friend, there’s the crazy hot straight guy who wants to make sure everyone knows he’s straight, there’s the all-too-eager power couple and the OCD older guy who spends his mornings huffing and puffing and re-racking everybody’s weights.  He must have strong shoulders to take on such a heavy burden (PUN WARNING).  Today was chest & shoulders day for me which involves a lot of push-ups and free weights.  One set includes doing 15 push-ups on an elevated bar, then dropping it down a few inches and doing 15 more, then dropping down again and doing 15, then 15 on the floor. As I move to the floor position, I back up a little so that I don’t slam my head off the bar or anything.  I move my feet back abruptly and shove my foot right onto the top of this girl’s unsuspecting head as she is in the resting position of a sit-up.  “Fuck!”

….Oops.  Sorry.

How to deal with racism and belittle your parents doing so.

When I was younger and people in my town would casually talk to me in a racist fashion, I would tell them my dad was half black and then I’d speak about his accomplishments in civil rights and what an inspiration he was.  They’d feel stupid and then I’d be like, “Just kidding, he’s a white alcoholic deadbeat who lost his job as a crooked mechanic.”

I also used to tell people I worked with in college that my mom was one of Bob Marley’s backup singers.

“Really?”
“Yeah, you know the part where he goes ‘We’re jommin!’ and they’re like ‘JOMMIN, JOMMIN, JOMMIN!’
“…That was mom.  I listen to it and it makes me wish I knew her.”
“That’s so sweet.  Wow!”
“Just kidding, my mom is a white barhound.”