It’s Been A Minute.

Hey, how are you?!  I haven’t seen you in ages.  You look great!  Have you lost weight?  Wait, is it your hair?  Something’s different about your hair.  Whatever it is, keep doing it!

blog3HAPPY NEW YEAR!  It’s been a doozy, hasn’t it?  2016 killed all of our heroes but 2017 named the remaining ones as sex offenders, so here we are awaiting the fresh hell of 2018.  But maybe it’ll be better?  I hope that the new year finds you in good health and happiness.

2017 was blog2busier than ever for me.  Still touring around the US and Canada with The Moth Mainstage, going everywhere from Vancouver to St Louis to New York to LA.  So thankful to be a part of such a great show with such amazing people.  I’m still taking classes at UCB (though it’s been a while) and did a lot of improv with my team Chevy Chaise Lounge around Los Angeles, including the LA Indie Improv Festival.  Been telling tons of new stories around town as well!  Did some fun shows like Hatedate with Linda Bailey Walsh (and my interview was featured on her podcast of the same name – check it out!), Tales From Tinseltown, and even cohosted Oh Hey Guys with John Flynn at UCB.  blog5I’ve done the Risk! live show a few times this year, which is always a blast.  It’s really the show that first got me noticing that storytelling was a thing.  I’ve met and shared the stage this year with some incredibly talented people, and it humbles me.

I’m writing two Spank shows at UCB, which are their sketch/storytelling 30 minute showcases.  One is autobiographical (a reworked, shortened version of my solo show from Fringe) and the other is about a fictional country singer who died 50 years ago but wrote every song you’ve ever loved.  Will keep you updated on that.

I’ve started a ridiculous “anonymous” blog about my day job.  Because as a storyteller, when something bad happens to you, your brain tends to say “onc

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e I get over this trauma, this is going to be a great story.”  The blog is about something that people always, always ask me about, every single day:  YOU DRIVE FOR UBER??!!  YOU MUST HAVE SOME STORIES!!!!

The site is called Rideshare Storytime and I’m excited to roll out some stories for you!   You can check out this fun new project at http://www.RIDESHARESTORYTIME.com.

Guys.  I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet today, so can you give me a break and let me get my day started already?  Much love to you all.  Thanks for paying attention.

All my love.  xo

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Fringes and Risks and Moths and Gays AND A LIVE EPISODE OF MY SHOW!

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Long time, no see!  Have you lost weight?  Whatever you’re doing, you look good.  Me?  I’ve been mega busy.  Where to start, where to start… Since I last touched base, I’ve been lucky enough to do huge13346712_980413048936_1729737194878028595_n Moth Mainstage sho13100792_968013038656_7867883281114781263_nws in Boston and East Lansing, MI.  Always such a treat to be on the road with some of the warmest hearts in the nation.  And I got to work with one of my favorite people in storytelling… The absolutely adorable and mega-talented Tara Clancy.  (PS – her book comes out in October but you can preorder it now.  I suggest you all do that.)

I’12998648_965878216856_8979331860957591821_nm thrilled to report that Fringe went great… I won the Audience Choice Award at the Pittsburgh Fringe Festival for my one man show, How The Queen Found His Crown.  By the time that weekend was over, I was extremely 12991015_966586183086_5676674998605037073_n-2thankful to put that show back into a cardboard box in my closet.  Talk about emotional exhaustion!  Putting myself and my life out there in that capacity was certainly rewardingbut taxing.  Huge thanks to everyone who came and saw it though – that was such a great turnout and such a supportive group of hearts.

I’ve gotten to try out some physical hosting duties which I admittedly was very nervous about, but wish I wasn’t, in 13007372_1676210589297664_8305328234598432440_nhindsight.  First, The Moth asked me to host their monthly Storyslam here in Pittsburgh in April.  While I obviously love attention, and the idea of being onstage through the entirety of the show, it was a daunting task:  Their monthly host here, Alan Olifson, has been literally the only person to ever host it, for almost 5 years.  I figured they’d revolt!  But the audience was very receptive to my sense of humor and luckily, I didn’t have to riff off of too many suicide stories that night, so I’d file that one in the “success” drawer.  

Just a few weeks I was the guest host and monologist of Arcade Comedy Theater’s “Hootenanny” show, the annual Pri13427939_981091668976_2727140253438382705_nde edition.  This is an Armando style show, so for all you non-nerds out there – basically someone
shouts out a word or phrase and I have to come up with some (hopefully entertaining) stories from my life based off of that word.  Then the improvisers (which included some of my local favorites – Missy Moreno, Jerome Fitzgerald, Kyle Longsdorf, Kristy Nolen, too much talent to name them all!) act out spur-of-the-moment scenes based off of the details of what I’ve just come up with.  They do scenes, I tell more stories, then scenes, then stories.  It was a fucking blast.  No words to describe how much fun that night was.

In mid June, I traveled to Philadelphia to perform a newly workshopped story for the Risk! podcast, which aired today.  13423890_982898752566_3238287332764788834_nI covered some deep stuff in it, but I (hopefully) managed to keep it light and funny.  Always fun to work out a new story in front of such a supportive audience.  And Kevin Allison, my absolute hero – such a gift to work with him every single time.

SPEAKING OF FUN!  If you’re in Pittsburgh, mark your calendars for July 29, at 8pm.  At Arcade Comedy Theater downtown, I am putting on a LIVE taping of an episode of my podcast, 2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place!  I won’t reveal too much, but there will be TONS of character improv work in this episode.  Nik Nemec will be back for this one, and I’ve secured the absolutely absurd Missy Moreno!  Tickets are only $10 but get them asap, as this is a small theater!  

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I have less than 10 weeks before I move to Los Angeles.  Terrified?  Yes, sir.  Yes, I am.  Ready for the next chapter?  Without a doubt.  Thanks for being here for the ride so far.

 

All my love,

David

What the heck is next?

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I absolutely fucking hate when days like January 1st make people decide that now is a better time than ever to rebrand themselves or try something new or start watching what they eat.  But I’m human.  And a little reflection never hurt anybody.  So add this to the list of trite, cliche posts that are likely filling up your Facebook feeds at the moment.  Except mine is way more interesting.  Sorry, not sorry.  Kinda sorry.

2015 has been the greatest year of my life, filled with so much growth and validation and success, that I’m a little (jokingly?) worried that I’ve already peaked.

In January, the wonderful Kevin Allison put me on his show Risk! for the first of what eventually became 3 appearances on it this year, including a live show at the PIT in New York.  I started my own show in March, 2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place, and have been lucky enough to work with some of the most gifted and successful people a comedian could ever look up to.  I took a class at Upright Citizens Brigade – a longtime goal of mine, especially getting to perform on their Chelsea stage the following week.  I’ve been the featured guest on multiple national radio shows and podcasts.  The Moth hand-picked me to start doing shows for their MainStage touring series, which I tried out here at home for 1,300 people.  That audience more than doubled in Portland, OR when I performed on The Moth’s biggest global stage to nearly 3,000 people.

Given the grown I’ve achieved over the past few years, this year really proved that all the good feeling I’ve got now really has some staying power.  It’s hard to un-learn negative thought processes, so I immediately worry, “Is that it?  Am I done?”  Cue Jerry Seinfeld’s awful Cockney accent, “Not bloody likely!”

I’ve got a handful of incredibly exciting irons in the fire for 2016, none of which I am officially allowed to talk about yet.  But what I can say, is that I don’t have any plans to go to the moon like poor Lance Bass did when he hit the big time.  I’m a simpler gay than that.  I just want to take a bath in diamonds but somehow not get cut.  Also Hanson will be performing an acoustic set in my bathroom while I take that diamond bath.  And they’re naked.

No, they’re in leather.  Anywho…

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I think officially in 2016, I can say in a public forum that I plan on outsmarting carbon monoxide threats in my apartment (Yeah!), doing more shows, expanding the audience reach at 2 Gays, No Girls, and getting my name out there even bigger than it has been.  Starting today with an appearance on a nationally syndicated radio show called This Show Is So Gay.  Great way to close out the year.  The show has a ton of FM and internet affiliates nationwide, so please be sure to listen in.  As an very uninformed person, I can only direct you to their website, http://thisshowissogay.com.

I truly hope that every person reading this can attain the clarity and happiness I’ve achieved this year.  No matter what you’re seeking in life, be it fame or fortune or a bigger penis or a bigger vagina, here’s to you.

Name your goal, work hard, then ask for seconds.  Don’t wait for January 1st or some monumental day.  Every day you can do better than what you’ve done.  Happy New Year.

David

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Live @ RISK! in NYC 6/25!

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Attention NYC area fans and friends!

Thursday 6/25 I am THRILLED to be doing my second RISK! live show, only this time in New York City at the Peoples Improv Theater!  RISK! is a live show and iTunes podcast hosted by comedy/storytelling god Kevin Allison of MTV’s “The State.”  The live shows and podcast run the gamut of stories that will make you pee yourself laughing, rip your heart out, get you hot and bothered, or gross you out.  Hopefully mine will do mostly the first and a little of the second.  Tickets are on sale below!  Get them now!

http://thepit-nyc.com/event/risk-15/

“2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place” is now on iTunes for FREE!

Search for my show now in the iTunes store or follow the link below.  Also still on soundcloud at soundcloud.com/buymeahotdog.  Myself and Nik Nemec travel around to different pizza shops, get a little tipsy, and enjoy a fun and funny conversation while we wait.  Improv characters, special guests, segments, music and more!  It’s a ton of fun, even if you’re not a gay.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/2-gays-no-girls-at-a-pizza-place/id981537104

Hosted by David Montgomery & Nik Nemec

Produced by David Montgomery

Theme song is “Like Us Before It’s Cool To” by The Wreckids (now available on iTunes!)

2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place: A Podcast

I have a lot going on these days!  So let me catch you guys up a little…

TODAY MY PODCAST IS UP!  It is the first official episode of “2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place.”  It’s a passion project for me because I love pizza and hate fag hags.  I get to do a lot of improv characters on the show, which is a blast for me.  I co-host it with Nik Nemec, who is a lot of fun to interact with on and off the show.  Go check out episode one, entitled “Madonna DiGiorno” at http://soundcloud.com/buymeahotdog.  And like us on facebook at http://facebook.com/2gaysnogirls.

Also I will be performing at Wordplay for a second time.  This is SUCH a fun show.  Host and producer Alan Olifsen gets a musical setlist to add to your story and a live dj plays it behind the storyteller.  How much better can storytelling get???  The show is Friday April 10 at Bricolage Theater in downtown Pittsburgh.  Get your tickets here:  https://bricolagepgh.secure.force.com/ticket/#sections_a0FE000000D4bTvMAJ

Plus I won the Moth storyslam again!  I performed at the Grandslam for the first time ever, and unfortunately got picked to go first… So I ended up scoring REALLY high, which was quite validating.  Didn’t get beat until the 7th or 8th person went up.  That was on a Thursday – then the following Tuesday I performed at the regular Moth storyslam and I won again!

Anyway kiddos, thanks for reading….. Catch you up again soon.  Have many more videos of my stories ordered that are heading your way soon!

xo

Dave

Naivete, a gun, and the Spice Girls. My story is on this week’s episode of the RISK! podcast!

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http://risk-show.com/podcast/in-a-tizzy/

Click here to listen to MY STORY on this week’s episode of Risk!, hosted and curated by the brilliant Kevin Allison.  It is such a dream of mine to be on this show and to have worked with Kevin professionally.  This guy has been a comedy hero of mine since my teenage years.  His most notable tv work was the sketch comedy show “The State” on MTV in the mid-90s.  This show is the absolute cornerstone of my sense of humor.  Kevin started Risk several years ago and when I discovered it, I was enthralled.  His uncanny ability to find such gifted storytellers and workshop their stories to be performed live or in-studio as such incredible pieces is truly an art.  They run the gamut – from inspiring to raunchy to hilarious to sad… This show truly has something for everyone, as long as you don’t mind a little coarse language 😉

I’m the first storyteller, with a story called “Spice Justice,”  in which I am mugged at gunpoint and justice isn’t served through normal channels… So the Spice Girls serve justice in a tacit, implicit way ;).  I hope you enjoy listening.  If you’re interested and are new to his show, click through older episodes and check out a “Best Of” episode to give yourself a good idea of what it’s like.  It is THE best podcast on the air today.  Subscribe in itunes here.

DON’T FORGET TO LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE HERE! 🙂  Audio, pro-shot videos and more!

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

I’ve never had good luck with neighbors.  From summer 2013 until the summer of 2014 I was invariably tortured by my downstairs neighbor, who performed a series of psychological experiments on me without my permission.  This is largely an assumption and definitely an overdramatic version of just having a bad neighbor, but here is my story anyway.  I told this hilarious story at The Moth storyslam at the Rex Theater in Pittsburgh last summer.  The names have been changed to protect the terrible.  Enjoy!  Please comment, like, and share if you enjoyed this..