What the heck is next?

I absolutely fucking hate when days like January 1st make people decide that now is a better time than ever to rebrand themselves or try something new or start watching what they eat.  But I’m human.  And a little reflection never hurt anybody.  So add this to the list of trite, cliche posts that are likely filling up your Facebook feeds at the moment.  Except mine is way more interesting.  Sorry, not sorry.  Kinda sorry.

2015 has been the greatest year of my life, filled with so much growth and validation and success, that I’m a little (jokingly?) worried that I’ve already peaked.

In January, the wonderful Kevin Allison put me on his show Risk! for the first of what eventually became 3 appearances on it this year, including a live show at the PIT in New York.  I started my own show in March, 2 Gays, No Girls, At A Pizza Place, and have been lucky enough to work with some of the most gifted and successful people a comedian could ever look up to.  I took a class at Upright Citizens Brigade – a longtime goal of mine, especially getting to perform on their Chelsea stage the following week.  I’ve been the featured guest on multiple national radio shows and podcasts.  The Moth hand-picked me to start doing shows for their MainStage touring series, which I tried out here at home for 1,300 people.  That audience more than doubled in Portland, OR when I performed on The Moth’s biggest global stage to nearly 3,000 people.

Given the grown I’ve achieved over the past few years, this year really proved that all the good feeling I’ve got now really has some staying power.  It’s hard to un-learn negative thought processes, so I immediately worry, “Is that it?  Am I done?”  Cue Jerry Seinfeld’s awful Cockney accent, “Not bloody likely!”

I’ve got a handful of incredibly exciting irons in the fire for 2016, none of which I am officially allowed to talk about yet.  But what I can say, is that I don’t have any plans to go to the moon like poor Lance Bass did when he hit the big time.  I’m a simpler gay than that.  I just want to take a bath in diamonds but somehow not get cut.  Also Hanson will be performing an acoustic set in my bathroom while I take that diamond bath.  And they’re naked.

No, they’re in leather.  Anywho…

I think officially in 2016, I can say in a public forum that I plan on outsmarting carbon monoxide threats in my apartment (Yeah!), doing more shows, expanding the audience reach at 2 Gays, No Girls, and getting my name out there even bigger than it has been.  Starting today with an appearance on a nationally syndicated radio show called This Show Is So Gay.  Great way to close out the year.  The show has a ton of FM and internet affiliates nationwide, so please be sure to listen in.  As an very uninformed person, I can only direct you to their website, http://thisshowissogay.com.

I truly hope that every person reading this can attain the clarity and happiness I’ve achieved this year.  No matter what you’re seeking in life, be it fame or fortune or a bigger penis or a bigger vagina, here’s to you.

Name your goal, work hard, then ask for seconds.  Don’t wait for January 1st or some monumental day.  Every day you can do better than what you’ve done.  Happy New Year.

David